Category Archives: Humor
How to Defeat Calvinism
James White just posted this video, thinking that he may have seen it somewhere before. I agree; I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it before, but I thought I’d repost it anyway.
When they show the scales that illustrate John 3:16 allegedly trumping everything else in the Bible, I like how John 6 appears twice on the opposite dish.
I also like the devil horns on Calvin and the cool nickname: “John ‘Lucifer’ Calvin.”
Search Fail
I’ve posted a lot of doosies from the comment spam that I get, and one on the searches that get me hits. This one simply defies explanation.
I’m not sure if I actually need to comment on this. I talk about Theology Web a lot, I have posted on the locusts of revelation, and I would certainly hope that searching on “josiah concept” would lead you right here (otherwise Google needs to re-exaimine its search capabilities and maybe even its business plan). But when have I ever talked about praying to get your ex back? If anything, I’m praying that mine stays far, far away!
Wow. Just. . . Wow.
When I read articles like this, I fondly remember Proverbs 26:4.
The money quote from the article:
Calvary Episcopal Church will offer later this month its first “Perfect Paws Pet Ministry” aimed at giving area pooches and their owners improved odds at getting canines into heaven.
I have no further comment. None is needed.
The “Too Stupid to Respond To” Files
It might be interesting to take a brief look at some of the more disgusting things that I’ve had the misfortune to stumble upon due to my association with apologetics ministry.
When I first started in 2006, I wanted to respond to everything. I thought that skeptics and atheists alike would be floored by my logic and rationality and could scarcely help but convert to Christianity. Obviously, I had a really steep learning curve ahead of me.
I laugh when I think back to when I first started. I probably would have attempted a serious answer to these. But now, I know better. Some stuff is just so stupid, so ridiculous, that it deserves nothing but absolute silence. So, at the risk of inflating the egos of those involved with these projects, I present a glimpse at my personal “Too Stupid to Respond To” files. Read the rest of this entry
The Atheist Delusion
Reading back through God is Imaginary to update my answers, I’ve also had to watch those obnoxious and condescending videos again. I appreciate parodies of those horrid things, even if the maker of this particular one isn’t actually on my side (my best guess).
I still find this video hilarious.
Comedy from Search Engine Traffic
Like all WordPress users, I get a readout of what Internet searches led users to my blog. While most of them make sense, every once in a while I get a doozy that makes me laugh.
The one that made me laugh today was “Who is coming out of the closet this Wednesday?” Why would anyone search for a specific day of the week for that? This search was conducted on Monday, which begs the question: Does the gay community now plan ahead who is coming out on specific days?
That makes no sense. There’s no “gay agenda” such as groups like Focus on the Family claim. Right? There isn’t, right?
This is Special
In my last highlight post of the interesting comment spam that I get, I mused that I should just add a category for comment spam. So I said to myself that I will add that category if I get one more comment spam that’s worth highlighting. You will note that I have done that, under “Humor.”
This comment was to appear in my essay on prayer, which is also the most popular essay over at God is NOT Imaginary.
Sage Vyasa could not get the peace because he revised the theoretical message of God and did not memorize the practical aspect of it. He got perfect peace when Bhagavatam was composed in which the practical aspect was described. Gopikas practiced the message of Gita in Toto. The devotion to God should be one way traffic. Krishna married Radha secretly (Gandharva) and left her along with other Gopikas after enjoying them for two years in Rasaleela. No girl will tolerate her husband enjoying other women with her knowledge. The love of Radha to Krishna was not affected by such bad behavior of Krishna. Krishna increased the power of dosage of the test. Krishna left Radha and Gopikas, went to Dwaraka and married 16000 girls. Dwaraka was like a foreign country crossing the sea. If this is the case of the marriage of today, the girl fights against the groom with the help of the courts and women associations. But the behavior of Radha and Gopikas towards Krishna was unimaginable.
The user who posted this was called “Travel Deals to Paris.” That pretty much screams “Spamer!” doesn’t it?
Explaining God to a Two Year Old
Until I attempted to explain the concept of God to my two-year old daughter, Ashleigh, it never occurred to me how complex some of this really is.
I was strapping her in to her car seat to go to church, and she said that we were going to see Mimi and Papa (that is, her grandparents). I said, “No, we’re going to church to see God!” I realized my blunder (Jn 1:18), and hoped that Ashleigh wouldn’t notice.
Of course, she seized the opportunity right away and as we were driving kept saying, “We go to church. See God.”
I finally said, “We can’t actually see God, sweetie. But we can see Jesus! Of course, he isn’t going to be at church. But we will learn about him.”
After considering that statement for a moment, Ashleigh asked, “The bad man get Jesus?”
“Nope,” I said. “Jesus defeated the bad man. For good!”
After a few more minutes, Ashleigh said, “We no see God. God no at church.” Laugh now, and laugh hard, my atheist readers. She’s only two and doesn’t get concepts like “immaterial,” “spirit,” or “omnipresent.” Don’t read too much into her statement.
I said, “No, honey, God is everywhere. We just can’t see him.” She seemed to consider this, but didn’t ask any more questions or make any additional statements related to church or God. Sometime, I need to have a more detailed conversation with her about God and Jesus, but not while I’m trying to concentrate on the road.
Keep the Comment Spam Coming!
I should just create a category for comment spam. This just in:
I found your site from bing and it is magnificent. Thankx for supplying such an amazing blog post…
Thanks! This was attached to the post that attempted to answer if God was the author of sin in Calvinism, to which I recently added a retraction. Good, careful reading!
Back Rome Again 
The Irony Meter is Off the Chart!
May 17
Posted by Cory Tucholski
This may be an extremely ironic bit of spam caught by by my intrepid spam filter:
I may have teared up a little bit right there. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, he linked to his “similar site.” Diamonds, theology; po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
Posted in Humor
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Tags: Comment Spam